In remembrance
As I watch the ceremonies and news story on 9/11, I am solemn. In 2003 I lost my father and little sister within two months of each other. To make matters worst, my mother was very sick at the same time. We thought she was going to be added to the list. I was on edge. I yelled at my supervisor so bad she told me to take some days off. I had to get out. Out for me is out of the city. I searched the internet and there was an “I love New York” sale. I booked a flight out on ATA for the next afternoon and a hotel on the internet.
On the plane, I was still wound up…still angry. I left without calling my family. I called my sisters. Rita said OK but Yvette expressed her concern because I was going to a dangerous city by myself. Yatta Yatta Yatta. I will call when I get there. When I was trying to find my hotel in midtown, I walked past Studio 57 and smiled. It reflected a time of heighten senses and freedom. My room was a single and very small. The window was messed up and all I could hear was the loud noice of the city shuffle. I just laughed.
As I walk the city streets of NY, I felft invisible. I watched people whirl by, cars blowing their horns, city vehicles cutting you off, everyone just going about their business. I felt like I did not exist. I was standing in the midst of chaos and I was still stressed. Maybe this was a mistake coming here.
The next day, I decided to tour the city. I’d been to the city before but it was dictated by someone else’s agenda. I walked. I went to Harlem looking for Bill Clinton, walked through Central Park, Times Square, went to the top of Empire State Building, the Garment District, walked through Chelsa, Gramercy, Greenwich Village, Soho, Little Italy, Tibeca (upset that the Tribeca film festival started after I leave), and Chinatown.
I walked… and then all of a sudden it was calm. The noise was hushed; something happened. I turned to my left, Wall Street and to my right, there it was….the site of the World Trade Center. As I looked at the memorial wall, the air in my lungs tightens and I felt something spiraling through my body to my head. I felt the quiet, the reverence, and the peace. At that moment, I knew why I came to NY.
I came to NY to be reminded that people lost their lives, not because they neglected themselves and fell to illness but through an act of violence. Their families didn’t have to time to prepare for their deaths as I did. I came to NY to be grateful. I was given time. All my anger and stress left me. I prayed at the wall. As I began to walk, my spirit was quiet. I ended my journey in Battery Park. As I sat on a bench looking at the Statute of Liberty, I said a prayer of gratitude. I sat watching the sunset give way to the night realizing it was time. I could go home. I boarded the train back to my hotel in silence. I found peace in NYC.
aggball66 